Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Same Old Thing

Snow and Little Trees
Autumn
Roadside Trio
Diana

Yes, Oregon is just like Maui, except for the snow...

Here is what I did when I made it home.

Live From the AIrport

Waiting OGG
Today has been a thrilling day and I am sure the fun will extend well into the evening.
So yeah, I have issues with numbers...
I always have...
So when I tell you that I will be leaving on the 31st, you can bet I got the wrong day...

Last time I came out I actually mixed up the departure and arrival locations and accually paid in full for a pair of tickets leaving from a different state.

So it should come as no surprise, after casually glancing at my online ticket info, realizing I had the wrong day, and driving as fast as I could to secure my place in line in these times of heightened security... ready for my new and improved pat down...
That I am 5 hours early and after getting a hundred feet from my gate I am told that the kids that need to screen my bag are still on their lunch break and to come back later...

Good times...

On the bright side there is free wireless...
And I can work on my paper that I never gave a second glance.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Not Your Everyday McDonanlds

Rooster
Here in the islands and throughout the world, McDonalds likes to bring in a certain flair by taking on the customs and favorites of their surroundings.
This is demonstrated with tailored side dishes to fit the pallets of local visitors.
Examples include, removing beef and beef products in India, refried beans in Mexico, Beer in Germany, and out here in Hawaii, Spam in the Extreme Breakfast... and chickens watching you eat.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Friday, December 25, 2009

Where My Frogs At?

DSCN2532
DSCN2556
DSCN2588
DSCN2608
Poke FrogDad's Tattoo

Merry...

Today I have seen the worst movie ever.
Ok, one of the top 15 worst...

It was cruel, painful, and un-ending...
The writing was bad, the sets were lame...
I can't say enough...

My sister had the empty popcorn bin on her head through half of it.

They wined on about....
Words can't possibly do justice...

Worst film...

You should see it...

Have you heard about the Morgans?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Captain's Log

3:30 on a Monday afternoon...
83 degrees and visibility off the port bow as far as the eye can see...
Time for my daily nap and then back to the beach.

I was going to say that was all...
But I just remembered my William Shatner story...

So I was on the plane and overheard the lady in front of me mention that Shatner was going to be in Lahaina signing books at the Hard Rock Cafe...
Later my sister calls to tell us that someone bailed out and that her friend gets to be his opener.
Corky is totally stoked that her friend is going to be on stage with Shatner (and national television), and tags along to wish him well...

Of course she isn't about to shell out the $50 door fee to get inside, so she stands in the windows... Cheering on her friend from a far.

Seeing as this was a book signing, it was a tough crowd from the get go, but after the first round of silence, it was obvious that her friend wasn't going to make it...

After crashing and burning, he walks off the stage with head hung low...
That is when he was informed not to worry about it, since they would be pumping in the laugh tracks later...

This is where things get interesting...

One of the local characters in town is a lovable young junkie that specializes in origami art... primarily in the form of tinfoil...
This art has yet to be recognized by any major galleries, but when compared with the alternative of getting an actual job, seems more appealing.

This skilled young man has a knack for creating fanciful works with the sole objective of winning free passage into the show of his choice.... he searches for shows that are new to town and sets to work designing a spellbinding homage that will surely win over his prey.

This time he set himself the challenge of creating the entire Star Trek Space Ship Enterprise out of foil... complete with Data and semi-functional laser beams...

After waiting patiently outside for his opportunity to share his craft with his newest idol his opportunity finally arrives...
Keep in mind that this kid just spent over a hundred hours folding an entire spaceship and has been waiting all night...

Shatner walks out the door, sees the foil ship, crushes it and throws it in the trash...
Leaving the kid crushed as well...

It's Not Easy Having a Good Time

Climbing Rocks
PC200543
DSCN2531

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Tis the Season

Creepy Christmas Elf

For department stores to start selling creepy Christmas elves, with metal crab claws, invented with the sole function of choking unsuspecting shoppers...

I mean really, come on. What else could this thing be good for?

Right Place at the Right Time

Exhibit A

Seems to be the element to success...
And for me, yesterday, it really was.

I had been invited to a little get together in honor of a friend's birthday...
At some point in the evening, someone arrived with a small blueberry cheesecake.

I was instantly thrilled... Since it is one of my favorite things...

Being his birthday, I patiently waited for him to do the honors of cutting the first slice. This was a bit of a challenge as he was very preoccupied with the festivities...

I did what I could to help the inebriated birthday boy find his way to the cake... Strategically placing the knife nearby and clearing the table of other distractions...
Many times over the course of the evening, he wandered into the kitchen, looked at the pristine cake, even going as far as to pick up the knife and hold it precariously near the cake; only to have one of his guests announce their departure and demand his attention yet again...

Knife back on the table, and guests looking down with disappointment...

After around an hour of this charade, I gave up...

Upon returning home, I realized that I felt sad for missing the cute little cheesecake...
I stared at the clock, realizing the patisserie would only be open for ten more minutes...
Finally as the clock inched towards failure, I couldn't take it any more...

I jumped in the car and made a mad dash for the only place I could think of...

I made it with 6 minutes to spare and the bystanders cheered my efforts...

I walked in the door with more determination and purpose than I had applied in years. I had one mission, and hell or high water I was getting that cheesecake...

When I hit the counter, I scanned it carefully for my prize, but sadly there was no blueberry cheesecake to be seen... I asked if there were any in the fridge, and after taking a moment to check, he said that they were all out aside from the full size $40 one... He took a moment and asked me if I wanted that one...

I explained that I just waited an hour for a slice of one earlier, but that the instigator was too intoxicated to find it, and how I had given up.

After another 3 seconds and said I had to have it.
Ha asked if I wanted anything written on it.
I said, "Poor Impulse Control".

Off he went and returned again, with some bad news... He had realized that the only one he had left was slightly imperfect and that he couldn't sell it to me.

He asked if I was ok with that....

And handed me the cake.

So that is how at 11:00 on a Saturday, I was gifted a blueberry cheesecake and all was right in the world.

Mauled Cheesecake

Nothing Like Coming Home...

KC Light


After a long day...
And getting Blasted in the face with high powered remote controlled flashes....

Good times...

And it only took about ten minutes to regain partial sight... So all good news.

We were testing them out for a friend, and being all about quality control, had to ensure that they were working properly...

Friday, December 11, 2009

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Mattress Sale!
It is 13 degrees in the morning, and it takes 20 minutes to defrost my car... The car next to me has to be plugged in at night...
This is getting a bit ridiculous...

My students have taken to skating in the drainage ditches near my house, which have frozen solid, and the ducks have taken to our school parking lot as an alternative meeting spot.

I don't mind the weather, but we are all looking out the window and thinking the same thing... What is it going to take to get some snow?

Thankfully I only have a few days left till I am out the door and on to better things, namely frozen freeways, traffic, airport terminals, and baggage fees...

I can't wait to stand in line with a 40 pound backpack, slowly being herded through the crowd, only to have the first person I am able to make eye contact with riffle through my purse and demand I remove my shoes...

At least I have a good sense of humor about it all... but still, the experience is usually a trying one and takes it's toll...

So in other news, today was midterms for my students...
We are half way through our 9 week term and things are going pretty well...

I have four classes and some of their projects are pretty interesting.
In one class we are doing ten step movies... they pick the topic and walk away with their own movie on the subject.
Here are some of their topics: making a bomb out of diet Pepsi and Mentos (can't wait), a flash dance tutorial, a skateboarding trick film, and a film that thus far seems to be about eating my lunch.

The lunch one always happens... I make the mistake of telling the class they can demonstrate simple food items. Inevitably they end up asking if they can make a sandwich, this usually requires multiple takes and multiple sandwiches...
But what do I care, I am all for quality, and if it takes five sandwiches to get it right, so be it.

In other, other news...
I just signed up for a fun class on behavior management... The course books sports a dramatic photo of a little girl melting down on the playground... It looks like a good time. I think you can never have too many tricks up your sleeve when it comes to conflict resolution, so I am going to see if I can rack up a few more...

Alright, that is all till I can get you some more pictures.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The list is pretty much complete

Sipping Spuds with a Spoon

The only thing that was left on my list of items to acquire was a vita mix blender.
I haven't named it yet, but it is sitting in my kitchen, waiting to obliterate what ever I feed it.
Maybe I'll call it Seymour...

Day three...
My teeth, or at least the holes where they used to be, hurt.
I was doing good for the first few days, not needing anything to get along, but over the last day or so I have finally started to notice the throbbing and am looking forward to the end of it.

I got to keep two of my molars, which I know sounds odd... But that was just the last thing the nurse asked...I thought well if I am going to have a $2,000 procedure, I might as well have a keepsake...
So I said I would take the bottom ones.

I handed the bag to Autumn when I came home, she freaked out slightly and dropped the bag onto the floor.
I was worried they would break, but so far so good, they are hanging in there...

I suppose they will probably go in the curio cabinet, seeing as the coffee table might not be the best place for them...

Thanksgiving should be an interesting one for me...
I just want to sleep, sip smoothies, and watch movies... And I feel I have earned that privilege. It hurts to talk, so why would I want to socialize. I have plenty of potatoes around the house... So that is my plan.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Week in Review

Hey there,
I have fallen off the wagon, and it seems that the topic of all my posts as of late have been on my lack of posting...
But I suppose that is better than nothing at all...

This week I have started a new round of classes and met my newest batch of students...
So far so good. We are still in the honeymoon phase where they are slowly testing the limits and seeing what will fly.

The first thing I had my new students do was to write me a letter and tell me more about themselves... I had the opportunity to read through the first batch and found out some very interesting facts about my groups... I found out that many of them have chickens and interesting home lives, some of their families own businesses, and a few of them are thrilled to have a change of pace and be in a new class...

I have also started a new term of video productions and am quite sure that this group will be keeping me on my toes, as demonstrated by the first day of filming and a group that has already announced that they have finished the first project and are ready for a new one...
Of course they are not done, and I will go into all of the tedious little steps that are required before completion, but it is just great to see that I have a batch of students that are chomping at the bit and trying to torture me so early on...

In other news I am all set for my upcoming dental experience and have signed up to have my class commandeered by a veteran sub who I am sure will fine that my students are a thrilling group to behold.

Other than that this weekend I will begin my latest side project of helping other schools to get their equipment up and running. This will entail heading out to schools on the weekends and getting their equipment reimaged and ready for the year that is very much underway.

This week we received our latest batch of laptops and will be using them to replace teacher machines with the newest models and pass their old machines back onto the students to help classes have a higher ratio of machines and do more interactive projects...

That is all... Signing off...

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Absent Minded Baking

I have been trying to get back into the kitchen to create anything these days, and have been sliding off the radar after each attempt. So today, I am trying to focus a little more time to this small feat and accomplish anything at all...

Aiming small with the modest goal of no less than 160 cookies, and that is all they are going to get...

In other news, I messed up royally at work the other day...
I blame my phone and inept assistants...
I knew that I had a class to teach down town, like I do most weeks...
So in preparation I printed out all me handouts and reviewed the topics to be taught.
All seemed ready to go and I reached my class with time to set up and get started...
I distributed the handouts and got going with no troubles...
Only half way through the class one of the members mentioned that she had thought we would be covering podcasting... I informed her that we were learning about podcasting, just through some new mediums, such as cell phones and video conferencing, and recommended that she sign up for my class that specifically covers the basics of recording and publishing... She apologized for not reading the course description more carefully and in the end, everyone had a nice time and walked away learning some new things...

So one of my teachers at school asks if I would be available to help her after school, and I tell her that I will check my calendar and see if I am free or teaching another class downtown...
You can imagine my surprise when I see the class I taught last week scheduled for next Tuesday....

Yup, you guessed it, I taught the wrong class and the lady that had seemed so confused by the handouts had been right... The class that I recommended for her had actually been the one she signed up for...

Well that was a first and I will be sure to take my calendar out of agenda mode to make sure that doesn't happen again...

The bright side is that I am definitely ready for this week's class and that everyone learned something new weather they meant to or not...

Whoops.

Got the Penny

Hey Dad,
Thanks for the penny.
It has been credited to your account and will post in two to three business days.
Your confirmation number for this transaction is 7002954.
Please keep this number for your records.
If there are any issues with your payment, you will be contacted at the number listed in your account.
Here at Gardner Inc. we value your business and look forward to many more payments to come.
This completes your transaction, if you have any questions about your account or current bill, please feel free to contact our agency during business hours or via email at your convenience.

Thank you and have a great day...

I like the penny...
I added it to the curio cabinet and even changed the bulbs again so it can really shine.
I am really surprised by how clean and shiny the penny is, surely after traveling for nearly 100 years, it would have become worn and dulled by passing hands, but it seems just as you had suggested that this little coin must have been loved and forgotten in the bottom of a piggy bank.

Now it can be put in a place of honor and forgotten behind glass, where it belongs...

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Happy Halloween

Pirate Cupcakes
Making the Rounds

So this Halloween we made the annual pilgrimage up to Corvallis to Diana's house for cupcakes and bonfires, while being entertained by the entire cast of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, complete with everyone's favorite reporter, April, the bad boys of pizza, and of course, our hostess, Shredder.

Autumn and Steve came as the H1N1 Virus, and I walked out the door in my usual attire as a pillaging pirate... Like ya do.

All went well, and the evening wasn't complete until we all had our pizza, with extra anchovies, of course... (on a side note, I wouldnt have wanted to be the delivery man that night, seeing as the entire house rushed the car, dressed as giant turtles with sticks, swards and knives... I am sure the guy totally deserved his tip...)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Sincerest Apologies to the Smallest of Things

This morning I hurt something and someone in a careless act and wanted to express my deepest apology, though I know it will never be heard.
This morning, while getting ready for work, I came upon a small spider in my shower.
Though it was a tiny little creature, which I would have usually enlisted the assistance of others to remove, I found myself in a predicament with no one around to assist me...
With no one to call upon, I took it upon myself to remedy the issue single handedly and found some difficulty in resolving the situation...
I attempted to capture the creature... though it had done more than it's fair share to get out of my way... clinging to the inside of the shower curtain, in a modest attempt not to be a burden or inconvenience to me...
Sadly, being short on time, I did not heed it's gesture and went out of my way to remove it...
with a soggy piece of cardboard and small glass I attempted to catch it, and in the act accidentally dismembered the creature, tearing off one of it's legs...
The silent captive writhed in what I assumed was much distress and pain, with it's severed limb clinging from under the glass, and still pulsating with the fading glimps of connection with it's former friend.
I felt bad about it all day, and thought I would do my best to apologize and explain that I wish my little intruder no ill will and that I hope the little accident will not inhibit it's long life and future scampering...

I am sorry little spider,
please forgive my haste, I should have taken the time to be kind to you, I am sorry.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Shelby

Today I was surprised to hear the phone ring at work...
On the other end was our secretary, informing that there was a call on hold from "Shelby"...
"Shelby?, Shelby who?" At this the secretary was at a loss for words...
I asked if it was a parent or if she could tell me a little more...
She said that she had no idea who was calling and that she would park it on intercom 101.

After taking a moment to think about how the screening process is laking in our school, I took the call and said hello to Shelby...
One of my ten year old students...
She said that she was having trouble installing Quicktime and playing the movie we made on her family's PC...
I had given her an install disc for the software and was really quite stunned with the ease at which this little girl was redoing all of the settings and clicking away in an attempt to get her video to work...

We figured out that she needed the latest version and got it up and running,
but it really was a trip to stand, talking to a ten year old, while the updates ran, hear her video playing in to background and her yelling "Yeah! I worked"...

I think that was the smoothest walk through talk through I have done in a while and it was with a kid that wont 'get to ride a bike without a helmet for another six years....

Go team.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Almost Highly Qualified

Of all the unfortunate pairings...

Today I opened the KEZI site to find my picture and the following headline...



The news crew came to the classroom today to show off our school's use of technology. I have no idea how I ended up under this headline. I should probably get them for slander. Way to go, team.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Storage Locker

Long ago the fiberglass doors to a time capsule, long forgotten, were closed...
Leaving it's enhabitents to wait, rust, crumble, and disintegrate...
They were waiting for a day when they would be saved and reunited with their lost companions...

This day came later than anticipated...
Three years later...

So begin Act I:
The claiming of lost things...

After numerous calls informing me, that being the last one in the continental US, I had the great honor of driving 6 hours on the freeway to the spectacular town of Talent, where a toothless man would be waiting behind the counter to greet me and demand more money...

But before that joy could take place we had a few small issues... One, Corky never told me which storage unit was hers, and left only the cryptic clue that there would be a yellow rope peeking out from under the door...
Finally she confessed that the locker number was either J 96 or A 96, helpful information...
You could imagine my surprise upon reaching the lockers and finding that ALL of the units have little yellow ropes...

Issue number two... of course we had no way of opening the locker once we got there, and thought that showing up, unanounced with bolt cutters in hand, might raise some suspicion..

But that is the way it went down...

I visited my favorite antique store and went straight for the giant bolt cutters... They were $30, but I planned on giving them to one of our fine Eugene citizens in an attempt to boost the enconomy by encouraging people to buy new bikes after theirs had been stolen...

Long story short...
My friend at the antique store let me barrow the giant bolt cutters for the day, and gave me another box of crayons to give to my students, and I ended up walking out the front door, trying not to drop anything and getting stuck half way out, with my back hitting the little bell, alerting the old lady behind the till that I was not making a smooth escape...

Six hours in the car and the worst directions ever led me to the correct establishment...
The unit was filled with mostly erotic self help books and magic cards, with the random diploma lying on top of a box.

We took one car load to a thrift store, threw the rest back in the locker, and I walked away with a type writer, and a small box of things...

Next I am going to see if I can get any cash for the magic cards and see if I can get Steve to fly me down there so I can take care of the rest of it...

End Scene

Friday, October 09, 2009

When Rats Attack

The other day I was surprised to look down at my phone, the one that never rings, and see my sister calling me, at the crack of dawn.
This in itself was a wonder, as my dear sister is not known to grace anyone with her presence until well into the afternoon.

I have learned this lesson well, after calling her at around 11:00 A.M. and listened to her push the phone around on the floor after answering it, in an attempt to find it in the dark, followed by my favorite sound, the one where people attempt to say hello and the sounds tremble out and inform you immediately that the person on the other end of the line wishes terrible things to befall you...

But back to the main idea... My sister, in an unprecedented event, called me at around 8 in the morning, meaning it must have been around 5 there... She sounded as though she had been crying and opened with the line, "I had a bad dream"...

She told me that she had a dream that she was being attacked by a rat, and that when she woke up, there had been a rat on her and that it bit her hand. She asked if she needed a shot for rabies or the plague and mentioned that she and the rat hadn't been getting along lately.

She had stirred up it's nest in an attempt to get the rat to leave, and laid out numerous glue traps to help it get the idea... In retaliation, the rat had decided to make Corky's life a living hell... It had established it's new post under Corky's bed (where she keeps her important papers), and taken to eating everything in sight.

It ate her entire case of Top Ramen soup, all of her mayonnaise packets, and as she was continuing on with the list she mentioned that the rat was even bringing saw dust in and putting it all over her floor... This, yes, this in particular struck me as odd, since there wouldn't be any readily available source of saw dust around... Just as I am about to ask a little more about the newest find, Corky yells, "He's eating my table!" Sawdust mystery solved...

From there she told me that recently she had been having some bad luck...

She had gotten up early the day before and in her usual fashion had began her day with an upbeat chant to help her on her way, "Shower time for Corky, time to take a shower..."

Only to find as she was about to step into the tub, that there was a giant scorpion in her bathtub again... "Scorpion! Ah...."
So off she runs to fetch the industrial strength Raid that is never in short supply. It takes some time to take effect, and one can never be too careful, so after spraying her new friend, she went for a short walk to pass the time... Upon her return she finds the scorpion has been dealt with and proceeds with her plans...
As Corky is taking her shower, trying to get back on the bright side, she notices that the water in her tub isn't going down like it usually does... She thinks the tub is just being silly, and proceeds with her shower, taking time to stomp in the newly formed puddles...
Only to immerge and find that the tub is not the only thing acting silly... The silly toilet is also acting strangely, spewing water and sewage all over her floor...

So Corky screams, throws on her clothes, and heads out the door to find all of her neighbors standing on their porches as well. Soon the Roto-Rooter truck arrives to take care of the issue, while her manager takes a moment to not so discretely inform Corky that you cannot flush paper towels down the toilet...
Ten angry neighbors all stare at poor Corky...

Moving on, attacked by giant rat, check; scorpion dead, check; flood averted, kinda, next up Corky's clan of friendly spiders decide to avenge their fallen comrade in what was surely just a misunderstanding with a book.

The bright side is, Corky just got a new apartment, and it clearly states, no pets.

The Curious Curio Cabinet

The mermaid's cave


Here is the latest find I have stumbled upon on Craig's list...
I have a wonderful tool on my phone that helps me to track these little things and the latest was not a small task to acquire...
I was scanning through all the latest images in the furniture section and saw a posting for a "Curio Cabinet". Having never heard of such a thing, I inquired to a friend as to which company produced curio...

The rest of my day was dedicated to this 400 pound solid oak creation.... which led me far out into the recesses of West Eugene off to a trailer park and into the path of a particularly lonely and strange, newly divorced woman who insisted on passing on her life story as well as that of the cabinet...

Seeing that her post had hit Craig's List at around 8:00 a.m., I decided that she must be up and moving around and chose to throw caution to the wind and call this stranger at 9 in the morning...
Actually I didn't call, I made someone else call, since I am a busy person and hate phone calls, but what I overheard made me happy to not have been the one to make contact...
Get her address, and secure the first bid on the cabinet, sounds simple enough, but from across the room I could tell this woman was not going to be an easy one to work with...
The conversation that should have taken two minutes drug on forever, with the little old woman describing each tree and shrub that would be passed along the way in her turn by turn instructions for a simple destination...

After that ordeal, we headed over to the Shady Oaks trailer park, where we found a yellow home, completely empty aside from the giant cabinet... She informed us that she was moving, since she had recently split with her husband of the last three decades... It seemed like a long time to be with someone and call it quits, but soon after meeting with this woman, we realized that her former husband had made a wise decision...

She informed us that she was moving to a smaller trailer at the other end of the park and that there would not be room for this, her most prized of posessions... She said that she had hoped it would go to a person who was fond of collections and would use it for it's intended purpose... from the image above I am sure you have no doubt that this was a good match and within minutes of securing the colosal thing in its place that I had no trouble filling it with crap from around my house, most notebly my toaster and pyrex collections...

She informed us numerous times that this cabinate could not be moved by mere mortals and would require the presence of at least four strong me, if not the entire U of O football team, if they were available...

Feeling sorry for this newly displaced, former housewife, I decided to appease her and help set her at ease by getting an entire U-haul to move this one solitary item... That in combination with the lack of large trucks at my disposal...

So off I went to secure a truck and get this thing were it belonged... I called the local truck depot and was greeted by what must have been a retired auctionier, since she had me on and off the phone in the dizzying span of 30 seconds...
"I need a truck"
"One way or in town?"
"In town."
"How many rooms are you moving?"
"One cabinet."
"That'll be a 24 footer at 4:30" (Click)
"What? 24 footer, but it's just a..."

The U-Haul rental station smelled like a backed up sewage line, and the truck wasn't much better, with it's ashtray like ambiance...
And then there was the "Four strong men" that I needed...
I don't know enough people to play Monopoly, let alone know anyone who can lift over a 10 lbs. bag of potatoes...
But as always, I made due with what I had, piling two tech support specialists into the truck and making the best of things...

Upon arriving with the truck and surprising the old lady with what I considered a more than adequate moving team for the task at hand, she crossed her arms and sternly informed us that we would not be up to the task...

In as polite of a fashion as I could muster, I tried to make it clear that I had purchased the cabinate and if I wanted to have the Geek Squad throw it down her stairs and dash it into pieces, that was up to me...

But all the while she kept saying, "Oh no, I wouldn't do that... No..."
So on it went, the boys taking out the shelves, and arduously lifting the 400 lbs. cabinate out the door with the old lady and her constant cemmentary on their eminent failure and how much she loved that thing...

Finally we were able to get the thing in the truck and secure it with bits of shoe laces that I had in my pocket... a fine job for sure... Being that the thing weighed more than a baby elephant, I wasn't too worried about it shifting around...

Now for the precious glass shelves... She surrendered them with more than hesitation, passing each one over and reminding me that they needed the utmost of care and to wrap them separately in blankets to prevent damage...
"Do you have blankets with you?"
"Of course... they are... uh, in the truck. Yeah, in the front seat..."
She of course bounds out of the house to see the "blankets", of which there are none...
I could care less at this point and just want to get out of here...
So I grab one of the shelves out of her hands, pass it of to the closest nerd I see and discreatly whisper, "Cut her off, she's going for the truck, cut her off"
So we quickly take all of the shelves and pretend to wrap them in imaginary blankets out of the view of the crazy old lady, and then pile into the truck, only to find about 30 lbs of glass preventing our escape...
We precariosly balance the sheets of glass across our laps, slam down the gate, and throw it into drive...
I can't help but shout as we are headed out the gate that I can't believe that woman is divorced and go speeding off the sidewalk with a thump.

Upon arriving at the house I quickly pile all the crap from my previous cabinate over every available surface, and promise our helper that he has done his part, earned his drink and that he won't have to lift the thing ever again, which is of course a lie...

No sooner than he has settled down on the couch and began to enjoy the first few sips of victory, I announce that I have cleared the needed space and am ready for the next task...

Long story longer, I made them move the whole thing again, tettering it on it's side and shimmying it left and right as they make their way across the living room, then demanding that it be moved again just a few more inches so it will free up the only available electric outlet in the wall...

Now it's all set and my toasters are reveling in the light that reflects off their chrome sides and brightens up the whole room.

The only thing left for me to do now is find more toasters.
All in all I feel it was a fair exchange, though I could have done without her commentary...

I will mention all this and more in the morning...

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Sorry for my Absence...

I think I have been out of the routine of communicating regularly on account of my new setup at home and my recent habit of leaving my laptop at school... Having it stay in the classroom saves me time in setting up my classes and also ensures that I will not inadvertently leave it behind and be unprepared...
Everything I do with my students is on it, and due to my new early schedule I save time by leaving it be...
I have no shortage of equipment at home, by any means, it is just that having the main computer in the living room does not lend itself to the quiet contemplative surrounding that is required for uninterrupted thoughts and sharing ideas...
I have had many ideas that I wanted to share lately, but I seem to have been torn away each time with my ongoing activities...

As of late the updates are as follows...
Everyone is falling prey to the plague... Teachers are undergoing the scientific transformation that is the fall season, and with it are catching the flu and what ever else their children decide to share with them...
We have at least five staff members out of the building and may see more soon...

Remind me to go into more detail on: When Rats Attack, the bat whisperer, karaoke parties, the apple visit, and walk and bike to school day with the mayor...

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Time to Meet Freebo the Hobo Spider

Freebo the Hobo Spider
This little critter was the latest new addition to my home...
Winter is coming and with the added habit of leaving my front door open to watch for my favorite neighbors, the Gardner house is taking on new tenants, in the form of spiders the size of hamburgers...
The interesting thing about this little surprise was how I found it...
Throughout the process of cleaning and setting things up around the house, I would continually unleash spiders from their homes in my living room... The practice for removing and relocating these little critters involved imprisoning them in a plastic cd case and unleashing them on the neighbors at a safe distance...
After the last release, I had throw the plastic lid to the cd case behind the front door and gone off to bed...
You can imagine my surprise when I woke to find a new bigger spider resting in it in the morning...
I don't know it the picture does it justice as this thing was about the size of the palm of my hand...

I really hate these things, and immediately dropped it off at the neighbors for research and further inspection...
Later that evening while cleaning, I hear the door open and Autumn announces that she is returning our little friend back into my house...
I wander around the kitchen to find her standing with the familiar enclosure in her hands and then her rushing towards me and launching the contents in my face...
Of course, I scream, throw my drink into the air, and retreat to the kitchen, to find the entire house erupting in laughter, and a makeshift spider, constructed of patches and ribbon lying on the floor...

Good times guys, way to show the love...

Out with the Old

Off to Springtucky
One of my favorite things

So lately I have been trying to follow my family's tradition of changing my surroundings on a regular basis... The goal of this is never to be held back by the things in my home and to be continually improving the things around me.

As a child I knew never to expect to see the same home I had seen upon leaving for school. Many times I would return to find the house had completely changed beyond recognition... One example was when I was living in Florence Oregon in a small two bedroom apartment...
I left our house with its rather simple decor to find a small Forest in our living room.
In my absence my dad had replaced all the furniture with logs and installed a complete forest of trees in the living room.
Beyond that he had released our pet cockatiels to run free and fly about the house....

I have no plans to take such actions, as the availability of trees for home decor seems limited in this area.
But the other tradition in creating a dynamic home by continually replacing furniture with new interesting pieces seems like a good goal to keep in mind.

Friday, August 21, 2009

After Lemon Traditions

After Lemon Tradition


Each year, for the third year running, Autumn and I have had the tradition of ending each Scandi-Fest Lemonade event at the Horse Head, with a Polaroid in front of the dart board, in celebration of a great Summer and a good time.

Umbrella

Umbrella