Sunday, December 02, 2007

Newest Song on Repeat

Yes, this was a short week and I have moved on...
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
The Postal Service

I find this song is great for dancing around the living room once everyone has gone away...
With enough coffee I can keep going for some time, though I realize I need to take more lessons and get back on learning to dance...

Off to dinner,
Good times,
KC

Random Box

My Saturday Night

You know this will be a thrilling entry, since when you think "Hopping Good Time" you obviously think of me..
Ha...
I am working on getting out more... When really I should work on Staying out more... We all know I dont drink, avoid staying up past my bed time and am always the first to leave... But that is off topic, my social skills are not under dispute...

So we went out to a Poetry Slam at one of the Local Galleries...
It was one of the funniest things I have done in a long time...
The host of the event was hilarious... That's all I can say about her... Between each performer she would tell great stories about working in the Sweet Factory in the mall... About falling in love with a Cinemark Ticket seller that would come in and spend 40 minutes picking the banana Runts out of a bin for his girlfriend, because they were her favorites...

The artists were absolutely amazing, the crowd was great, except for a few easily offended patrons who quickly found the door once the subject of some acts went a little on the risque side...

Lots of cheering and "Booing" ensued and it was a very enjoyable time...
We even had a guest all the way from the east coast as well as many talents from Bend...

I hope the next one is as much of a good time...

KC

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My New Favorite Song

This week it is Darling Nikki....
Those of you who have lived with me will attest to the fact that I will play songs endlessly on end till I find something new to entertain myself....

I have had a strange relationship with Prince... I was living in a cave and didn't know that he ever created anything risque....

Anyways... that is the song of the week....

Not that anyone cares...

Feel free to tell me what song you are hooked on...

Friday, November 23, 2007

Happy Day After Thanksgiving

So I had a nice week so far...
We had Thursday and Friday off... So I had 5 house guests join me for the week... Josh, Gaylen, Sierra, Tim, and of course Autumn... We had an amazing dinner... Stayed up watching movies for days, and passed out at regular intervals after overdosing on Turkey...
Then we even made turkey soup and had it for breakfast...
So that's it for now,
KC

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

473 Posts...

I saw that Evan was celebrating his 200th post the other day...
I am at 473.... Though most have lost interest and lack the time to write...

That number is a little off, since many of my entries are solid blocks of photos...
My last Comment back was in August...
Wait I just did a check and turns out that is about average....

But maybe at 500 I will do something special to recognize the monumental amount of my time that has been spent in front of a laptop, waiting for something.... And the joy of writing of course... ha

Autumn


Trivia Night

So I will sum up my funny story in as few words as possible to get back to work and back to sleep...
Autumn drug me out of the house as usual... To Trivia Night at Max's... Where a guy named Ward dresses in high suspended pants, a plaid shirt, equiped with pocket protector and repaired frames.... Bound with tape...
All in all it is a pretty interesting sight... I had the opportunity to talk with Ward about the origin of this event and he said it all came down to finding a way to get people to drink on a Tuesday.... That combined with the fact that it was a College town made the idea seem like it just might work....
He also mentioned his own personal love for trivia made it seem like a worthy and rewarding endevor....
Looking back on it now, he says he has definitely slicked his lust for trivia and now looks at the fact finding art as a bit of a chore....
So that is the background on the event...
So here we are, 4 to a team, with our bowls full of popcorn and pitchers in front of us, straining our ears to hear the latest clues and attempt to put names and artists to obscure clips of sound and beats....
It's a good time...
So I turn to my team mate and do the usual get to know you chit chat... This is a friend I have met before but realized I didnt know much about... So I go about my interview... Occassionally taking notes on the palm of my hand...
He mentioned school, his program, and major... So I wrote down "Tim: Smart Guy"
I mentioned how I dont come out much and can't handle more than two beers... He wrote down, "Kellyclare: Cheap Date"

So we went on with our evening, lost the trivia game to a spectacular degree as always and went off to get some sleep and prepare for the next day....

I awake to find I have blue ink all over my face and arms, an inevetable outcome that we joked about the night before....
Simple enough, we have all encountered similar dilemas... A little soap and no worries....
But apparently not the case today.... after endless scrubbing I am facing the same blue inscriptions I woke up to.... I finally give up and head to work, hoping no one will happen to notice the sloppy handwriting covering the majority of my palms...

Aparently no one noticed...
But I was cracking up thinking that Tim had to go through his whole day with my name and "Cheap date" on his arm... I bet that got some looks....

He later told me that for the most part he was met by jealous glances and that "Cheap Date" had melted into some unrecognisable phrase that resembled "Lap Dance" and that cracked me up too...
Hopefully my name washed away before anyone made the connection....

Good times....

Monday, November 12, 2007

Another Thrilling Day in the Gardner House

All be told I accomplished nothing today...
Just bought a book, and some CD's....
Got the new Feist... Was excited for about 5 minutes, and I'm over it...
But the remix disc was surprising and I am still working on it...
Basically it is the same CD that I already had, with a few extra beats that make it sound slightly like the Begee's Staying Alive.
So I guest I got what I was looking for with that purchase....

Excited about the short week ahead, not excited about resuming the grade thing....
I will get through it I know, but it is a pill...

Ok, maybe I will clean...
But more than likely not...
Back to bed.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Glad You Asked... This is what we do in our spare time.






Yes, I know you were all wondering if Autumn would fit in most overhead storage compartments... So we did an experiment of our own to dispell any question. When Autumn first took on her adventures with being an airline stuardess, I mentioned that her ability to physically demonstrate the size of luggage that would be allowed on the aircraft would be very handy... She can just curl up in a ball, with one arm free and point to the dimensions and weight.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Trumping Through the Corn Fields

Yes, covered in mud... A common occurence in these parts... And especially understandable after a night of tromping through the corn fields...
A hillbilly right of passage... Where friends gather together in the feilds with the common goal of navigating through a maze that spans over a mile in length over the better part of an hour... Endless winding turns, paths covered in mud, sheep baaaing in the distance, and the occasional school bus filled with dead people...

Yet another reason to see the fair state of Oregon. So Cassandra, my fugitive stuardess, and I went weaving into the night, navigating through such oddities as a cave filled with smoke that featured a small withered man that would blow a fog horn into your ear as you passed by.... I really didnt see how that was necesary or helpful, but everyone needs to be helping out and I suppose he was doing his part.... I really liked the guy with the chainsaw, he made my day....

So I was happy to have finally experienced this piece of history and know that I will have a great story for the new generations... I will be like my neighbor Katie... Chasing the young down at every turn and regailing them with tales of glory about the way things used to be...

So thankfully I will finally have 3 things to say... "When I was your age.... Gas was 99 cents, movies were a dollar, and we used to run through corn feilds chased by hillbillies with chainsaws..."

KC

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Still Alive

Seems to be the theme of most of my posts, since they arrive less frequently these days...

So here I am, well into October, kicking back with my new wireless and old movies...

Cassandra will be coming down next weekend, off to pick pumpkins and apples...

Teaching classes and getting ready for presentations....

All good things...

Other than that, Autumn is off on her maiden flight to some unknown destination.
It is really a trip to think that right now, one of my closest friends is flying above 30,000 feet, asking strangers if they need a pillow or if they would like to purchase the in-flight movie....

Very strange....

Anyways, I will be back soon....
KC

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Disapointing Safari

I awake at 6:30, as is my method... To the sound of a frog in the garden...
I am instantly glued to the window at the prospect of a new pet... People dont come by much and that is doubley true for animals...

Since my mouse found it's way to freedom, I have been searching for something to fill the void that is an empty cage and wheel set carefully on cement in the hopes of a speedy return.

Sad really, the way you justify certain actions... I sat with my empty cage in my lap, staring into the scraps of torn paper that used to be a home, and thought to myself... "What if he gets bored?" It made perfect sense to me, that Phillip might want his wheel for late night training, and I set it down on the cement in my back yard... And of course with these cold nights, he will want his igloo... Down it goes, next to the wheel...

So I created a rather pathetic little shrine to my mouse that miraculously got away...
When visitors come by, no one even asks... But I guess they know me...

So, like Elvira off Tiny Toons, I dart through the house with a new cage in my hands hoping to catch my prey unaware... bound into the garden, scan for my frog, and find a cat, happily licking its lips... So proud of its accomplishment...

I sink back to the porch, cursing the fat old cat for beating me to my prize... I hear the distant churp of the frog, now securely hidden by juggs of milk and a bicycle covered in spiders... I accept defeat and wander away, knowing that it wont go far and soon I will have a new toy to free on my own time...

This has been a good week, yesterday, I found a baby snake and set it free in the community garden...

Autumn is getting nervous when I call, she knows I will have some new Dr. Doo-little reject to show her...
And I cant wait for the next one...

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Has This Happened to You? Hands?

So I am teaching a three hour class to teachers and administrators at 8:30 after a long night of squeezing lemonaid and trying my best to be engaging and intertaining during my training... I get through the basic introductions to the new application and begin to explain how to add a new page to your website...

I explain that the first thing you will need to do after naming your site and creating your first page is to give it a title...
So I start to demonstrate the simple act of creating a name...
I write, "My New Titles"
Only, I am a little tired and forget the "le"

Half the class doesnt seem to notice... But the rest are quite amused by my interesting spelling error...
I look to the class, with my hands on my hips and say...
"See, you can have a page on just about anything"

And these are all mine....

Good times... No more late nights at the lemon, and a little more coffee before the school year....
Nice.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Aimlessly Wandering Autzen Stadium

I thought I would make up for the lack of posts till I fall asleep, so I will go further into detail on my thrilling adventures...

So while conversing with my new collegues in a meeting of the minds, one of our new teachers mentions a wonderful opportunity to raise funds for our new school.

Selling Sausages at Autzen Stadium during the home football games...

Being a well rounded and educated being, well actually being the one sitting next to the only one to volunteer I found myself the second in command in yet another vending adventure... With my first duty being to sit in on an intense crash course in vending.

First we had to find the place... Given the simple direction of "Gate 6" at seven PM. How hard could it be?
Show up, sit down, and learn more that I could handle on the delecate art of handing intoxicated college students sausages... Sounded simple enough...

So my new accompliss and I set the plan to meet up and charge the gates... Only one problem... All the gates are locked and no one has the slightest idea where the stupid meeting is... So we take off, setting accross the pavement, intent on making the show on time... I joked that we should give up, knowing that between the two of us, we would never find it in time....

So we wander around the campus, hoping that security would take interest eventually with no luck...

We stood in front of what we would later find as the only open gate on the premisiss and asked for directions, only to be led on a journey around the entire compound to end up right back where we started from... Good times... So after a brisk walk, we assended the endless stairs to find this ellusive location... Wandering around the stadium, mumbling and panting incoherent ramblings about hotdogs... We trekked around forever.... up and down the floors, joking about how entrusted with america's future, we couldnt find a simple office...

Finally we found the only esculator and wandered in 40 minutes late to an hour and a half presentation...

After sitting through the remainder of the overzealious Oscer Myer motivational speaker, I had enough.... I raided the soda bin and wandered to the elevator, loosing feeling in my limbs from the overwhelming cold induced by my own greed....

So now I am enjoying the fruits of my pillaging and sipping my Hansen's Smoothy with a sense of satisfation that only comes from ditching half a meeting and wandering off with all I can carry...

Good times...

Coming to a hotdog stand near you....
Be nice, you never know who's teacher will be serving your food...

Life in a Lemon






Yes, now that I have a masters in Education doors of opportunity are flying open in each direction...

So what am I doing this week? Working in a fiberglass lemon... That makes sense...

I cant wait to hang my degree on the peel and stand proudly beside the rest of the successful high school drop outs, covering myself in simple syrup and citric acid... I intertained ideas of throwing it all away and becoming a bar tender, so maybe this experience will inspire me to achieve my true passion of working as a beverage dispenser...

The whole thing is right up my alley... Dressed in bland cloth up to my ears and down to my ankles.... Wooden shoes and hundred degree haze... Standing cheek to cheek with my most talented friends...

Feel free to come by and crytalize this experience...
Take a picture, you will treasure it when I am on the cover of some prestigious magazine...
By the way spell check has failed me again, this is a tribute to Safari as the best browser ever... nothing works and everything else has so many holes in it I am afraid to turn it on...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Door 2 Points Kellyclare Nothing

So I had a rough day yesterday....
I finally gave up and went to bed....

After a long day of meetings and planning, I stopped by downtown to return my barrowed equipment and get things organized.
I was thrilled to see all of my favorite people and catch up on everyone's Summer...
On the way out the door, carrying a tub of cameras... I didnt move fast enough and some how... in an amazing display of skill and agility I managed to catch the back of my right ankle on the closing door... And lacking the sense to manuver my way free in any reasonable amount of time I ended up savagely cutting my leg....
Never detured from great conversation... I insisted on carrying on as if the whole incident had never taken place....
Not missing a beat I continued to talk, with the occational tear welling up, and finally had to admit that I should probably go and stop bleeding in the parking lot...
I recieved the usual looks and of course the assuring... "You would, only you Kellyclare... Could find a way to hurt yourself on a door"
So I proceded home, to an empty house to find that no one cared... Grabbed my Bactine spray and got back in the car in search of sympathy and a band-ade, or at this point a turnicate, since that is what it felt like I needed....

So I was greeted with open arms at Autumn's house, where after much sobbing and prodding, I finally rinsed off my mildly abraised ankle and proceeded into the living room... Where Autumn was standing by like a good friend with the Bactine in hand, intent on helping me whether I liked it or not... After running barefoot in the parking lot trying to dodge the bursts of pain that came with the sprays of Bactine, Autumn laughing and yelling as she had to corner me to disinfect the minute injury... After even less concern I got my band-aid and began moving on, uttering the ocassional whimper in search of sympathy.... No luck...

So after searching the local thrift stores for Scandanavian atire, in preparation for my recent employment in a fiberglass lemon at the Festival... I returned home... Only to walk into a different door and completely slam my face into the plywood. I had to go out of my way to accomplish this feet... Reaching for a towel with one hand and swiftly opening the door with the other... The end effect was a large welt over my left eyebrow that immidiately made me look like a Klengon from Star Trek... And also had the added bonus of raising my eyebrow to the degree that I looked intensly intrigued with everything...

So out I went, sitting on my porch, laughing and crying at the same time, not believing that I had been assaulted by the same innanament object twice in one day...

I resigned to fall asleep with a bag of frozen blueberries on my face, only to realize that all too soon, I would be facing my new staff and have to explain how their new hiree managed to walk into a door twice, and then convince them that I was not as incompetent as I might appear....

So moral of the story, get more sleep and never try to do 3 things at once when gracefully exiting in front of a crowd...

Good times....

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Tantelizing Tales From the Gorman Hotel

Lately I have been looking back on my short stint as a maid and would like to share a few of the highlights of my breif employment.

So I am home for Summer Break after my first year of college. My dad insists that I need to find a Summer job before I get back to school. So he drives me down a familiar road and we stop at the G. Hotel. He prods me out of the car to get an application.

I walk into the lobby of this tiny establishment and up to an 82 year old woman who is standing guard at the till. I mention my interest in working at her hotel and she tells me to follow her. We arrive in a small room crammed with washers, dryers, and my soon to be, least favorite appliance ever, "The Mangler". She starts folding bath towels and has me do the same. After ten minutes of folding, she wanders out of the room and leaves me there till arround ten at night. Keep in mind, I had never been so much as offered an application... I am guessing she counted that day of labor as training.

So my days at the hotel went on as such with only a few things that stuck me as odd...

1. Watering the Dirt: When I started, my mentor would give me small jobs to do, with one specification, you do them as fast a humanly possible. Any time or care added to any task was percieved as a lazy job and a waste of money. So here I am with a hose, watering the meagar plants that had attempted to grow and Mrs. G. walks up to me and tells me I am doing it all wrong.
She grabs the hose that I had set to spray, and turns it up to kill... She demonstrates the fine art of removing plants with a power washer and hands it back to me. So I finally understand.... I am not really watering the plants, I am on a mission to kill all the life forms on the ground and then get back to my more important job of watering the dirt.

2. Power-Washing the Windows: Same hose different job. Living in a costal town, the sea air is no ones friend, and the combination of the salt air solidifying on windows turns them a lovely opaque cream at best. So I was given the task of power washing the windows, which only exaserbated the situation and never accomplished anything other than annoying the guests. I think that this was all a secret plot to get the guests out of their rooms faster...
So off I go, power washing the windows at 6:30 in the morning... Watching the angry stares lining up at the windows one by one. Each with their sleepy gaze of disbelief that there is some terrible person, robbing them from their sleep with jets of water that echo inside their rooms.

3. Mopping the Parking Lot: There was a large rubber welcome mat in the main lobby of our hotel. It was used to help keep the mud down from the winter rains. Now being summer, it was just a large mat with no real purpose... But Margret decided it was filthy and it had to be cleaned. So she comes outside with a broom, a bottle of dish soap, and my favorite hose. After having me drag this 10 foot mat out into the parking lot she begins to show me the correct way to clean a giant wlecome mat. She hoses down the mat, covers it in dish soap and begins sweeping it is circles to srub it down. Two minutes go by and she hands the broom to me. She looks up in disgust and starts shouting that I am making too many bubble and that I have been using too much soap (the soap that I never had) and insists that I stay outside with my broom until every bubble is gone.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Bird Man


Bird Man
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Yeah this is pretty funny... After about a week in the sun I come home to find I have 30 pictures of this guy and barely any shots of anything else...
I went whale watching, hit the beach every day, went to mama's Fish House, visited mom and all I have are shots of this guy whole was routinely attacked by pigeons on the beach....

Makes perfect sense....

Monday, April 02, 2007

Hey there

Weekly update (ha)
I have been working a way and just got back from my break... Dad and I had a wonderful time, seeing the whales, getting sunburned and roaming the streets of Maui.

Today I helped give a presentation on the SmartBoard to middle-high teachers... It was pretty fun, I dicected a digital frog.
Other than that I programs a Jeep today... It talks to me and will call people at random when I say "Dial"
Just imagine the potential... No longer do you need to pick fights in person, you can scream as loud as you want and enjoy the benefits of a fight in surround sound....

So that was my daily accomplishment.
That and I updated my lab, next stop all the laptops... It is about time....

So yeah, I had a nice break, savagely sunburnned my hands and little else and picked a fight with a senior citizen at Water Aerobics... I could take him, no contest....
Ok, I will breifly go into that, it's a short story...

I was headed out to the pool with dad for the daily swim... By the way, he can swim farther than I can...
Anyways, I am killing time with the water lillies in the jazzer-splash section... I wade into the pool and make my way to the croud with water-bells in hand. As I make my enterance, I pass by a historic figure flailing towards the entrance to the pool. As I come in I pass by to hear the incoherant profanities of a bitter man. I brush this off as it isnt the first time I was greeted in this manner... So I start jogging away in my little space only to be startled by a wall of water coming in my direction.

I look back to find the old man muttering like a sailer and glarring intensely in my direction... I look to my intructer and comment that I dont think he likes me much and go on my marry way...

I dont mind being attacked by seniors, I think it is funny when they become irrate and hope that someday I can extend the same curtisy to some young punk who is invading my turf.

KC

Friday, January 19, 2007

Thankgiving Dinner


Thankgiving Dinner
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Book Burning (2)


Book Burning (2)
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

What to burn, what to burn?


Book Burning (1)
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Yes, here in Eugene, we are very considerate of the strict burning policies in place... We are also aware that this is one of the coldest seasons on record... And we are aware that there are many books in everyone's home that are best suited to be left as ashes in the bottom of a fireplace near you...

And remember:
Yellow Pages, "they're the ones that get used."

Priceless


So Close
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.


Oh the thrill of defeat... So close you could taste it, and yet so far...

Putting Life and Limb in Harms Way


100_3917
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Just to keep the ship afloat...

This will make a great secretaries day card...

We love you Shawn...
Way to go...

Seemed like a good idea at the time


Seemed like a good idea at the time
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Here's to the bold and the brave... who go where others dare not, and volunteer to cover themselves in toner.... All in a day's work.

Copy machine... I have no idea what happened... Why are you looking at me...

Saturday, January 13, 2007

I Almost Made it on the 6 o'clock News

My friend and I were just coming back from Corvalis on the N.W. Express way, when we see about 5 police officers with lights flashing turning right onto the road towards us... No biggie... So we start pulling to the side with the rest of traffic... Only to realize the car they are all chasing, a cream Volvo, is actually on the wrong side of the highway, driving through on coming traffic! My friend didnt notice the headlights flying towards us till the last second, letting us swerve out of the way.... Next the parade continued with a total of 17 police cars and the SWAT team in hot pursuit...
I doube he is still on the road, or breathing right now, but he must have done something pretty bad to get the attention of so many police officers on a Saturday night...

If anyone knows the whole story, I would love to hear the details...
And whole the hell flees police in a Volvo? Who are they kidding?

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Rise or Shine...


Rise or Shine...
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

After the turkey took hold, few were left standing... And those of us still standing "saw our advantage and took it... That's what heros do..." H. Simpson

And like that, it was gone


And like that, it was gone
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

The aftermath of our Christmas Sweater Party...

Super Man


Super Man
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

What happens to all the Hawiian Airline blankets I take with me as a suvineer... Glad you asked... As seen here, we use them for table cloths and capes...

Yes, capes for everyone....
That'll teach you for taking my DayQuill!!!

I'm Thumb-body


I'm Thumb-body
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Quarentine Cheesecake


Quarentine Cheesecake
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Ok, we are at Casanova's.... Having our semi annual Cheesecake... To facts to consider, Corky is a Germaphobic, and I have a cold... So each time I try to get some food, she scoots away and starts beating herself on the chest like a Gorilla.... (she believes this will ward of infection and bust her immune system, though it is hard to explain)

So to put her at ease I volunteered to quarantine my cheesecake.

Corky


Corky
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Canopy Cove 1


Canopy Cove 1
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

No good deed goes unpunished


No good deed goes unpunished
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.