Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Thank God I got Paid Today

Pickles and Zuchini Sandwiches
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Have any of you ever had a Pickle and Zuchini sandwhich? Of course not... why the hell would you? Why would anyone of there own free will subject themselves to this kind of torture... I'll tell you why; there was a 99cent sale at albertson's and at the time, it was looking pretty good... And let me tell you, if you put enough sauce on it, it is almost edible... Hell, I have seen people in my house have three a day...
But thankfully, no more bizzare meals for me... I will be back to eating Honey Bunches of Oats for every meal of the day.

Well it seemed like a good Idea at the time...

Yes, this is the beginning of many exciting tales... Plans that sound good in theory, there upon reflection not panning out. Well I heard another great story from my sister the other day. She was telling me about how she and a few friends decided to head up to the river on the coast... Upon arrival they find some great places to swim and dive in off the cliffs... Then her friends decide to let her in on one of the many secrets of the Oregon Coast... There is an amazing tide pool in the water that is fed by a small tributary through a pass in the rocks... They had discovered that by using someone as a human cork, they could stop the water and build up enough pressure to swirl the lot of them in a big circle when the human dam finally got out of the way. This went on for some time, each taking turns creating the human whirl pool... When one of them decided to take it to the next level and stay in the passage as long as possible to create a better rush... So this kid is sitting in this sink hole with the water coming up to his eyelids, thinking this will be the best one ever, only to leap out from his perch to be swept by a tidal wave into all of his friends... The swirl picked up all of them, slammed them into each other and put them all under water for about ten seconds... Good times...

corky's weekend

Hello. I have spent the last week in Oregon, taking care of business and visiting family and friends.
Well that's nice... Anyways, I was trying to bribe my sister into logging on and telling some funny stories, but she has writer's block... So now it is left up to me to fill in the gaps and make most of it up.... Anyways, I go to pick up my sister from the bus station today... She is standing on the side of the street with a paper bag in her hand. I can only say that the suspense was killing me. For a split second I imagine that she had not forgotten about me entirely and brought me a small gift... Anything, a card, a hug... But no, not for me, nothing. She explains that her friend had given her some dried, garden variety herbs; namely rosemary, oregano, and thyme. Less than thrilling, but I was happy for her none the less.
She goes on to tell me how crazy the grey hound bus is... Like I need any explanation, I have been there myself.
She tells me that she really lucked out this time, getting on the short bus with the rest of the rejects only to be discovered with an empty seat by a crazy lady that was less than clean. As usual, Corky plays off into her own little world, protected by her ipod and talent for ignoring just about anything... The lady starts mumbling about how bad her teeth are, which are probably nothing compared to her aroma... Corky just nods and smiles and turns back to her music and the sanctuary of her dried herbs. I have to admit it must have been a sight to see her turn to the woman and then begin to take deep gasps into a paper bag, hell they probably thought she was hyperventalating, or attempting to lose the hick ups... this goes on for some time until the latest vagabond is all but avoidable, with blood spilling out of her mouth onto her hands... Corky is quietly suffering, thinking that someone must be taping this for Jack Ass and that this can't really be happening... It was like a scene out of Mulon Rouge, with the main character in the end discovering that she has tuberculosis and is on her way out the door... The way this lady was looking, the ebola virus was a more likely culprit... At any rate I do not recommend riding the grey hound for any reason or under any circumstances... In the end it is never worth it, and any money saved over driving will inevitably be lost to a therapist in years to come.

Flight of the Button Burger


Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Originally uploaded by _rebekka.

Yes, today is a half full day. I had a great talk with my dad, and we figured out that everything is going to be ok. I am doing something I like. I have a home, a car, friends, and a never ending train of exciting people in my life. So I have most of my basics covered. The only thing I need to work on is getting out of the house and getting some activities going. Running, skipping, climbing trees sort of thing. I know Autumn is a big tree climber from way back, so come the 26th I should have that problem covered as well... The only other major issue I need to work on in life is following through with my promises to myself and everyone else. I make grand plans and often go no farther with them than my couch. Big day dreamer. But I have most of my adventures behind me and plan to make more soon... So I guess I will just start making some cash, buy a house and a car, and see where I can go...
But then again, at such a younge age, I dont want to be tied down by my career and let the things I own end up owning me. That is one of the many things I always admired about my dad; he was never afraid to throw everything out and start over. In a good way; he would always take the few thing he really cared for and know that he would always be able to get new things. I really think his ability to let the things that truely dont matter slide is one that will take me years. I sit in a house that can only be described as aclectic and overwhelming, and that is the way I want it. I realize that the attatchments I make these days are more along the lines of emotional bonds with my toaster than people. But a the same time I am accepting enough not to miss them when they are gone. So I will take it one day at a time and keep the world posted, not that anyone is reading this thing anymore....


Originally uploaded by Alan UK.

Life in Dept

Originally uploaded by stubberific.

Don't call me... You wont get a dime...
You'll never take me alive coppers!!!

Originally uploaded by Shayne King.

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins
Originally uploaded by dogwelder.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Come Home Autumn

KC and Auumn
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

I miss you... So get up here.... I hope you get the house all worked out, it will be awsome to have you as a neighbor... So come back soon... I miss you.

I told you so

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Go me

Yeah, so it seems that I will be the next tech specialist for Fox Hollow... That will be a great foot in the door to help me get my own classroom in town next year. This will also be an opportunity for me to get more involved in educational technology and see how it fits into regular curricular activities....
So other than that... the weekend was good, Kristy, Megan, Matt, Autumn, and Cheryl are all gone... Leaving just Lue and Corky at the house for now. Cheryl will return tomorrow and get back to work at Wendy's....
She is off to a rather interesting start with her new job. She was telling me that there was a mad order for fries coming through and that in the midst of making the new batch she managed to pour all of them onto the floor.... So as usual, she responds by shouting F&%! at the top of her lungs in the middle of Wendy's... She tried to play it off and act like she was saying "fudge" instead.... No one was buying it... So her manager came up to her and asked how she felt about doing dishes... Ha ha.
So we will see how long she can keep this one up...
Other than that I went down to Oakridge this weekend to wish Cheryl's brother a happy birthday and catch up with the rest to their family.
We basically watched movies and slept through the days, aside from our midnight blackberry picking run... Cheryl wanted to make a pie at some unGodly hour...which translated into her sleeping while I stood watching the oven at midnight. So at least that came out... And speaking of blackberries, that is where Autumn is. She is in Coos Bay helping out the family at the potery booth. And come Monday she will be a new and proud inhabitant of her own Lane County home...
Alright, back to bed...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Toaster four Points, Kristy and Megan Nothing

Toaster Trials
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Only the PURE of HEART can work the Toaster!!!!

Kristy and Toaster

Wendy's Here We Come

Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Today Wendy's called and interviewed Cheryl... All she needs is a pair of black pants and she will again join the minions of the working class. (though I fear she may have blown it already... someone called and said something along the lines of "you were supposed to be here at 3:00...") That may be a bad sign, but they left no name or information, so who can tell?

Corky Signing in

Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Hi. Corky here. Just wanted to clarify that this was the first kellyclare took of me. Then she proceeded to take at least 20 more in a row and it wasn't until number 19 that I put on the "grrr" face. I'm am not angry unless provoked, and trust me, you don't want to see picture number 20. Signing off -- Corky.


Monday, August 22, 2005


Alright, so it's the 22nd of August and I am still looking for a good job. Apps are in, waiting for my call and anything in between. On the brighter side I just got a new digital Camera... Wooo Whooo... Better than the last and free. My friend Lou came to town the other night and said I could have it. So we are having a great time. We made sushi with shrimp and checked out his new house for the fall. Its only a few blocks down and seems like a pretty sweet place to live. Nice hardwood floors, fireplace, giant back yard and such. So that should be cool. I guess I will be settling down here for a few more years, at least as long as Autumn is in school up here... And in other news, Kristy from bandon will be up for the day on Wednesday, and Corky should be rolling through town on her West Coast Tour. I doubt I will see her much, but it would be great if she stopped by and remembered to bring her *IPOD* so I can update it and such... So Corky and Dad, if you see this before you leave, remember to bring it if you can find it...
other than that, expect awsome pictures real soon... *Smile*

Monday, August 15, 2005

What Did I do today...

Sorry guys, this won't be an exciting entry... what can I say... I am not that interesting, give me a break. Anyways here was my daily routine:
1. Wake up, wander around the house
2. Shower
3. Stare at my filthy house and run out of the door in frustration
4. Go to the university and talk to a nice lady from Georgia about what a screw up I am and how I have no idea what I am doing with my life... We made a lot of progress... I enjoyed her positive attitude and funny accent... We went over the fact that I need to baby step a few things to get where I need to be... One of which is my house... Noting that it is imposible to focus on the outside world when I come home daily to the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew...
- We also talked about working on aiming a bit higher in the job market for once... unlike the rest of the world, she was not impressed with my work at the fuzzy factory and thought I might try something a little more befitting a person of my education.
-She noted that I need to work on my boundries with people in general (so I have to work on the no thing... so everyone should call and ask me for extravagant things so I can practice blowing everyone off *smile*) and that being a nice person is great as long as the world isn't scerwing you over
-and the list goes on....
5. I met Sara and played co-pilot on her trip to Coos Bay...
6. Helped her look for houses... We met the landlord to the potential cottage she would be living in in Coos Bay... It's on the beach near Charleston and sinking into the ground... But aside from that, the overwhelming clutter, small size of the house, and the overly outgoing and repetative personality of the land owner, it seems like a good match. It is a real cute place and is totally perfect.
7. Listened to the Scissor Sisters album 9 times in a row (over the course of the trip)
8. Drove Home
9. Put away the laundry... opened all the windows, fanned out the house, and Grandma gave me a popsicle
10. Talked to everyone I know, called it a day, and dove for the laptop....

Wasn't that Exciting?! Oh yeah, good times...
I used to be this thrilling person, traveling far and wide, doing crazy things... Getting on buses to Mexico, flying to Itally, and now... I knit... I feel like an 80 year old woman living in a 20-year-old body... Soon I will be clipping coupons, eating yogurt, surrounded by my 500 cats...
But I suppose there is still hope... I am not dead yet, and can't really say that my life's adventures are over... just on hold...

On the brighter side... the fair is coming tomorrow... and it is ten feet away, so I might as well go.. Maybe I will be kidnapped by carnies and start a new life...

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Here Ya Go

corkys card

My Weekend

My Whole World
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Jeremy's Birthday

Jeremy's Birthday
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Hey there... This is Jeremy, he is 29 I think, though I may be off by a few years... it was hard to count all those candles in the dark. At any rate Jeremy's birthday went down in style... We took over a georgeous piece of property overlooking the Sixes River, near Edison Creek... Totally stunning scenery, there was green for miles, and the river was like 5 feet away.
Jeremy invited his family as well as an African Drumming instructor he worked with... needless to say, there were like 30 drums going all night long... Jeremy's mom made the best potato salad I have ever had in my life...
That was histerical all by itself as we would be talking about it all night long,,, A group of about for of us took down Autumn in full force once we discovered her secret stash of potato salad... so that was intertaining as well...
So we had a great time, except for the fact that the someone forgot to turn off the elecric fences and inadvertently dropped quite a few quests... Jeeremy gets the points for making that discovery... The birthday boy proudly walks to the wire, announcing to all, have no fear, it's not live.... (we've all seen this movie before, I dont need to tell you what happens next(
But I sure and glad he was such a great host, putting himself first and electricuting himself just to make sure we stay safe... that's a real friend...

Kellyclare on a horse

Kellyclare on a horse
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Bandon Beach

Bandon Beach
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

This is a sillouette of Lola riding across the surf in Bandon... The rest of us decided to steal some little kid's toys and make a massive sand castle... there is no record of said sandcastle as the batteries were running low and any such information could be used as evidence in court if that child were ever to wonder what happened to his bucket and shovel and perhaps press charges... So mum's the word on the whole shovel scene... Matter of fact, what shovel... I dont know what you're talking about, nothing but alligations and lies... you cant prove a thing! Prank Call, Prank Call!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Autumn Feet

Autumn Feet
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

So Autumn decided to come up on her way to drop Lou off at the train station. He is on his way to Portland to fly out to Ohio or something... So they came up for the day and went camping in Historic Coburg, which is the incedentally is the DUI capitol of the world. I suppose with such a high quota and small population the opportunities to make money have to be stepped up a notch. So anyway, they will give you a ticket out there for just about anything... My neighbor has had 3 arrests out there... I wonder what the hell she could be thinking to keep going back there, it's not like they wouldnt recognize her car and pull her over as a routine out of habbit.
So you are probably wondering what the hell is going on in this picture.... Glad you asked... well after Autumn showed up for the second time after camping, we went on a series of adventures and wound up back at the house... Me being the activities coordinator that I am, I cant stand to have people unintertained. So after Matt showed up I decided that we needed to cover Autumn's feet in a spectrum of oil paint and book her... Yes, under the guise of just wanting her hands and feet printed for artistic purposes I sneekily gathered enough information to stalk her for years... ha ha
anyways, the art project went well, paint everywhere... Matt had to carry her across the thresh-hold and throw her into the bathtub to get all the paint off her hand and feet... This was a delicate process as my house has been reduced to a minefeild of obstacles and crap... so Matt had to do a lot of difficult navigating with the 100 pound princess, as not to leave red prints all over the walls and everything else protruding form the living room... It went well, I gave her some Lava Soap and after ten minutes of taking everything but the paint off (ie, all the skin off her feet) she was a lovely pink tone...
So after that little adventure we decided to wrap up the evening with some ice cream (two words, I am scared for life from Chrissi) nachos at Chipalla's... All and all it was a great night....

Autumn Knitting

Autumn Knitting
Originally uploaded by Miss Clare.

So this is a shot of Autumn diligently working on a ladder yarn scarf... She is carefully adding each frill to the end... very hard work... I feel that is the more difficult of tasks, I just skitt the damn thing, but boy was I excited when she said she would do te crocheting at the end... whooo hooo...
Anyways, so I will tell you about the rest of my day, prior to the painting.... So I get off work at 2:30 and head home... I am greeted by Autumn and MaryJane, my new fuzzy friend (which is against the rules, as I vow not to make firends on the principal that these people are usually much stranger than they let on and your chances of getting sabbed at work dramatically increase once you make any eye contact with said fuzzy people) but anyway, here we are hanging out at the house and having a few drinks... Autumn and I decide to make a mad dash down the row of sprinklers that have just been introduced to our parched backyard... good times... Autumn kicks my ass but bites the dust at the end of the row... After that shinanagan we are planning a good place to get a bite to eat... and I say, Laughing Planet... MaryJane backed me up and we were off... So Autumn and I get to the laughing plannet... Corky calls as I walk in the door and procede into the line... A guy in front of me turns and smiles and I appologize for the disruption.... So moving on... Autumn and I sit down in an empty restaurant with our kids menues and crayons to entertain ourselves for the wait... From the table next to me I hear an assortment of strange noises as the man sitting next to me plays with the plastic dinosour on his table... trying to be polite... and play it all off I asked what his dinosour's name was... an errie reply comes, "Steggy" in a very odd voice... From there we should have made the jump that this kid was mentally unballanced, but we take that for granted often as we live in Eugene... Everyone is nuts to a certain degree and at times they are hard to call on sight... anyways, so Steggi, Autumn and I are coloring our menus and trying to make conversation.... the food comes... Steggi is like, can I join you... (in a completely empty restaurant he picks us... great) so we are sitting there, uneasily eating our burritos, while making funny looks to Autumn from across the table that this guy is way crazy and we need to get rid of him... then he asks if he can try our burritos... then our juice... if you didnt know us, you would have assummd we'd know eachother our whole lives and not for an awkwardly forced half hour... Anyways, we wrapped up the lunch as soon as we could, and I was going for the door, while mentioning, "Autumn, dont forget your coloring sheets" just then, without hesitation, Steggi reaches across the table for the coloring sheets and promptly passes them out and procedes to poor the crayons back across the table.... great... so now we are back to coloring, again too be polite... I am just dragging the crayon frantically over the paper in no real attempt at art just to get the damn thing done with and over... suddenly another strange outburst from the stranger... in a voice that would have embarrrassed a 5 yearold, he calls out something like.... "I finished first, happy duck, look at...) I have no idea... I was going for the door again.. I had enough social interactions for the day... I hold the door for Autumn, hoping she will be quick enough to let it slam in his face and offer us a few more seconds for escape... no luck.. she stops to fix her shoe and there he is... Ahhhhhh... Great... I love awkward goodbyes from creepy stalkers... Over the course of the meal, he mentioned five times that he had a phone with him... and 5 times we changed the subject, as not to make any future contact with this kid...So we get to the parking lot, Autumn shakes his hand and says good bye... I go to shake his hand and he says "Oh no, we are too close for that...." and gives me a hug... Why me... I am just as much of a distand stranger as Autumn, why didnt she get the hug?? I swear the freaks all think I am a homing device...
Anyways, we make it to the car and celebrate our escape only to see him waiting in his truck watching us... Now in flight mode we decide to get the hell out of the Laughing planet... Autumn gets to the curb and I am just yelling "Drive!"... To that request, she promptly pulls into oncomming traffic and narrowly dodges a toyota flying at an insaine speed... Well that was great... I was jut thinking if we had gotten into an accident, guess who would have volunteered to take us to the hospital? Senior Psycho, of course... I'd rather liv with a head injury that be taken anywhere by that kid...
So the next plan is to get away... far far away... an hour later we end up past Vida in a town I had only recently been introduced to by Sara... We are on a quest to find the Blue River Resivoir... And aafter countless miles and numerous flaggers we are loosing hope and Autumn keeps making these strange growling sounds... very strange... hmmmm
I had been informed not to take the first River exit... this was of course a detour and obvious trap... So we go to the second exit and try our luck... after such a long drive we are very excited to finally be there... I think after one more "just over that mountain" while pointing off in the distance, Autumn would have stopped the car and choked me... Anyways, so here we are at the second exit... We take a left "Blue River, Blue River Yeahhhhh....Awwww." Somehow we were right back on the road that we came from... In disbelief we asumed that we missed the turn and tride it again.... "Blue River, Blue River Yeahhhhh....Awwww." Round Two...."Blue River, Blue River Yeahhhhh....Awwww." Round three I give up... So anyways, by around 6:30 we finally find the damn reservoire.... stay for an hour, have a couple drinks, jump off a bridge and go home...
Good times...

Where's Cheryl?

Not quite Waldo, but ever as elusive... This comes to no shock to anyone, but within the first hours after Cheryl recieved her licence, she fled the state, and abandoned her sense of responsibility and employment... We had Friday off. Most people would have thought that was nice and that a three day weekend would suffice, but ohhhh no... She decided out of no where that she should get in the car at God know's what hour, and drive to Bakersfeild, CA. Which is not quite down the street... But to each their own.
I come in the house, with Autumn and Lou visiting to hear the phone ring, and guess who, none but our favorite visitor, calling from California... All I could hear was the mumbled description and weak excuse of why Cheryl would not be joining me at work on monday. She said that "Here mom was having hard times..." (which was just a lie) Hey, my mom's having hard times too, but I still go to work on time... ; )
So anyway, first she wanted me to cover for her, then to tell them she wouldnt be coming in till Wednesday, if at all, and now I have the temp agent calling wondering the same thing as everyone else... Where the hell is Cheryl?
I wont give it too much thought as it is nice being able to have my friends by and get time to clean up the house....

Friday, August 05, 2005

Cheryl Got Her License

Hey, she finally got it... Good for her... 2 hours at the DMV, like $65 dollars later.... and the world should be cautioned to stay of the sidewalks for the next few weeks... She is doing pretty well, car is still running... Speaking of cars, it was pretty funny, on the way back to the house on the freeway, we passed a car just like ours... I was like, "look, it's our car.." just then the engine died in the middle of traffic... Cheryl joked that it was just like our car... very dependable... anyways, we left that think blinking in the dust, trying to push his Tempo through the intersection.

Yea for Kim

She is the best thing ever... I have never met a happier, more helpful person in my life. She is awsome, she just wrote me and told me how to transfere my website, save it to a disk, and mentioned that there may still be hope for me to get a job in this town yet... I needed that little pep talk as I have been getting kinda sad about this coming year and a little worried about how I plan to survive for the next few months... The prospect of working at the fuzzy factory for the rest of my life was a little depressing and I wanted to figure it all out and get going on everything...
So I will work on getting my contacts set up, and see what I can do...
Keep your fingers crossed....