Same Old Thing

Yes, Oregon is just like Maui, except for the snow...

Here is what I did when I made it home.

Live From the AIrport

Today has been a thrilling day and I am sure the fun will extend well into the evening.
So yeah, I have issues with numbers...
I always have...
So when I tell you that I will be leaving on the 31st, you can bet I got the wrong day...

Last time I came out I actually mixed up the departure and arrival locations and accually paid in full for a pair of tickets leaving from a different state.

So it should come as no surprise, after casually glancing at my online ticket info, realizing I had the wrong day, and driving as fast as I could to secure my place in line in these times of heightened security... ready for my new and improved pat down...
That I am 5 hours early and after getting a hundred feet from my gate I am told that the kids that need to screen my bag are still on their lunch break and to come back later...

Good times...

On the bright side there is free wireless...
And I can work on my paper that I never gave a second glance.

Not Your Everyday McDonanlds

Here in the islands and throughout the world, McDonalds likes to bring in a certain flair by taking on the customs and favorites of their surroundings.
This is demonstrated with tailored side dishes to fit the pallets of local visitors.
Examples include, removing beef and beef products in India, refried beans in Mexico, Beer in Germany, and out here in Hawaii, Spam in the Extreme Breakfast... and chickens watching you eat.

Where My Frogs At?

Merry...

Today I have seen the worst movie ever.
Ok, one of the top 15 worst...

It was cruel, painful, and un-ending...
The writing was bad, the sets were lame...
I can't say enough...

My sister had the empty popcorn bin on her head through half of it.

They wined on about....
Words can't possibly do justice...

Worst film...

You should see it...

Have you heard about the Morgans?

Captain's Log

3:30 on a Monday afternoon...
83 degrees and visibility off the port bow as far as the eye can see...
Time for my daily nap and then back to the beach.

I was going to say that was all...
But I just remembered my William Shatner story...

So I was on the plane and overheard the lady in front of me mention that Shatner was going to be in Lahaina signing books at the Hard Rock Cafe...
Later my sister calls to tell us that someone bailed out and that her friend gets to be his opener.
Corky is totally stoked that her friend is going to be on stage with Shatner (and national television), and tags along to wish him well...

Of course she isn't about to shell out the $50 door fee to get inside, so she stands in the windows... Cheering on her friend from a far.

Seeing as this was a book signing, it was a tough crowd from the get go, but after the first round of silence, it was obvious that her friend wasn't going to make it...

After crashing and burning, he walks off the stage with head hung low...
That is when he was informed not to worry about it, since they would be pumping in the laugh tracks later...

This is where things get interesting...

One of the local characters in town is a lovable young junkie that specializes in origami art... primarily in the form of tinfoil...
This art has yet to be recognized by any major galleries, but when compared with the alternative of getting an actual job, seems more appealing.

This skilled young man has a knack for creating fanciful works with the sole objective of winning free passage into the show of his choice.... he searches for shows that are new to town and sets to work designing a spellbinding homage that will surely win over his prey.

This time he set himself the challenge of creating the entire Star Trek Space Ship Enterprise out of foil... complete with Data and semi-functional laser beams...

After waiting patiently outside for his opportunity to share his craft with his newest idol his opportunity finally arrives...
Keep in mind that this kid just spent over a hundred hours folding an entire spaceship and has been waiting all night...

Shatner walks out the door, sees the foil ship, crushes it and throws it in the trash...
Leaving the kid crushed as well...

It's Not Easy Having a Good Time

Tis the Season

For department stores to start selling creepy Christmas elves, with metal crab claws, invented with the sole function of choking unsuspecting shoppers...

I mean really, come on. What else could this thing be good for?

Right Place at the Right Time

Seems to be the element to success...
And for me, yesterday, it really was.

I had been invited to a little get together in honor of a friend's birthday...
At some point in the evening, someone arrived with a small blueberry cheesecake.

I was instantly thrilled... Since it is one of my favorite things...

Being his birthday, I patiently waited for him to do the honors of cutting the first slice. This was a bit of a challenge as he was very preoccupied with the festivities...

I did what I could to help the inebriated birthday boy find his way to the cake... Strategically placing the knife nearby and clearing the table of other distractions...
Many times over the course of the evening, he wandered into the kitchen, looked at the pristine cake, even going as far as to pick up the knife and hold it precariously near the cake; only to have one of his guests announce their departure and demand his attention yet again...

Knife back on the table, and guests looking down with disappointment...

After around an hour of this charade, I gave up...

Upon returning home, I realized that I felt sad for missing the cute little cheesecake...
I stared at the clock, realizing the patisserie would only be open for ten more minutes...
Finally as the clock inched towards failure, I couldn't take it any more...

I jumped in the car and made a mad dash for the only place I could think of...

I made it with 6 minutes to spare and the bystanders cheered my efforts...

I walked in the door with more determination and purpose than I had applied in years. I had one mission, and hell or high water I was getting that cheesecake...

When I hit the counter, I scanned it carefully for my prize, but sadly there was no blueberry cheesecake to be seen... I asked if there were any in the fridge, and after taking a moment to check, he said that they were all out aside from the full size $40 one... He took a moment and asked me if I wanted that one...

I explained that I just waited an hour for a slice of one earlier, but that the instigator was too intoxicated to find it, and how I had given up.

After another 3 seconds and said I had to have it.
Ha asked if I wanted anything written on it.
I said, "Poor Impulse Control".

Off he went and returned again, with some bad news... He had realized that the only one he had left was slightly imperfect and that he couldn't sell it to me.

He asked if I was ok with that....

And handed me the cake.

So that is how at 11:00 on a Saturday, I was gifted a blueberry cheesecake and all was right in the world.

Nothing Like Coming Home...

After a long day...
And getting Blasted in the face with high powered remote controlled flashes....

Good times...

And it only took about ten minutes to regain partial sight... So all good news.

We were testing them out for a friend, and being all about quality control, had to ensure that they were working properly...

Are We Having Fun Yet?

It is 13 degrees in the morning, and it takes 20 minutes to defrost my car... The car next to me has to be plugged in at night...
This is getting a bit ridiculous...

My students have taken to skating in the drainage ditches near my house, which have frozen solid, and the ducks have taken to our school parking lot as an alternative meeting spot.

I don't mind the weather, but we are all looking out the window and thinking the same thing... What is it going to take to get some snow?

Thankfully I only have a few days left till I am out the door and on to better things, namely frozen freeways, traffic, airport terminals, and baggage fees...

I can't wait to stand in line with a 40 pound backpack, slowly being herded through the crowd, only to have the first person I am able to make eye contact with riffle through my purse and demand I remove my shoes...

At least I have a good sense of humor about it all... but still, the experience is usually a trying one and takes it's toll...

So in other news, today was midterms for my students...
We are half way through our 9 week term and things are going pretty well...

I have four classes and some of their projects are pretty interesting.
In one class we are doing ten step movies... they pick the topic and walk away with their own movie on the subject.
Here are some of their topics: making a bomb out of diet Pepsi and Mentos (can't wait), a flash dance tutorial, a skateboarding trick film, and a film that thus far seems to be about eating my lunch.

The lunch one always happens... I make the mistake of telling the class they can demonstrate simple food items. Inevitably they end up asking if they can make a sandwich, this usually requires multiple takes and multiple sandwiches...
But what do I care, I am all for quality, and if it takes five sandwiches to get it right, so be it.

In other, other news...
I just signed up for a fun class on behavior management... The course books sports a dramatic photo of a little girl melting down on the playground... It looks like a good time. I think you can never have too many tricks up your sleeve when it comes to conflict resolution, so I am going to see if I can rack up a few more...

Alright, that is all till I can get you some more pictures.