Friday, April 03, 2009

Move over Furby, I got something better...

My New Roomba
When I was a young teenager in Bandon, one of my close friends found out she was going to have a child.
No one was really surprised and upon hearing the news, her older brother walked in and said,
"Why couldn't you have gotten a Furby like everybody else?"

Much like a Furby, in some ways, my new toy is just like a small child.

You have to watch out for it, removing choking hazards and cords that could trap it or hinder it's range of motion.
Also like a small child, it has to be cared for... needing frequent changes and needing to return home to it's charging base when it gets tuckered out.

It has a modest little space under my green chair, which I had been planning on for years...
Like a Cabbage Patch Kid, I didn't know what to expect at all... I never even saw a picture of my new friend, we just hit "I want one!" and never looked back.

And I didn't just buy him... I made him.
Some assembly required baby...
I can now loom over my vacuum and shout,
"I bought you into this world and I can throw you out...."
Or "Did I make it clear, that your job is on the line?
I'm just going to have to find myself another robot."

So far I have just been yelling:
"Roomba, No!"
"Bad Roomba"
"Don't eat that"
"Leave the fish tank alone"
and "Where did it go now?"

The cute things it does:
I like watching the Roomba buzzing all around the house, with what seems to be little to no direction at all....
He goes under the chairs, tables and even the bikes in the kitchen.
He likes to rearrange the recycling, helping me by finding a renegade can and pushing it all over the kitchen.
He also likes to vacuum under your feet every other minute... It's like you make him think there is a new chair that needs to be cleaned around... So again and again, he comes back and makes you lift your feet off the ground to get by.

And of course... he talks...
Which makes him better than any ordinary Furby or small child.
The number one complaint I hear from Newbie parents is that they don't know what their child wants...
The roomba takes all the mystery out of caring for another creature by being clear and forward with it's needs through:
"Clean Roomba's Front Wheel"
"Clean Roomba's Cliff Sensors"
"Please remove and clean Roomba's Brushes"
"Please clean Roomba's side brush"
and "Timmy's in the well"

What more could you need.
Ok I could live with a Scooba, to wash the floors, and maybe a dish washer, but other than that I am all set.

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