Kellyclare And Jeff
Originally uploaded by Huggie Bear.
OK Dad, here is a shot from my graduation... It went fine, I didnt trip, and thankfully this year Hanibal Lector was not the public speaker....
As Corky may recall, last year the powers that be forgot to do their background checks and let some psycho give the opening speeches... It started off all right, talking about what an accomplishment this was for all of us and how far we had come... But then the conversation took a turn for the worst when he decided to calculate in detail how much blood had coursed through our veins during our education...
I dont know who the hell proof read that section... "yes over the course of your education you heart has pumped enough blood to fill 5 olympic swimming pools..." Yeah John, that sounds great, no I dont think it's too much, leave it in there...
Mean while the entire croud is anxciously scanning the lawn for the nearest security guard and looking nervously down at their roast beef... Good call, great speech...
This year wasn't as bad, but some lady tried to tell us her life story and ended it with a chipper anectdote on her childhood friend who was born without ears... she went on to describe how he had new ones sergically fashioned out of mounds of flesh... I wanted to vomit.... who writes this shit....
Other than that everything went well... except for the fact that it was pooring down rain and I had to pee throughout the two hour speeches... I kept looking at them menacingly thinking "Wrap it up!"
Who ever the idiot was handing out water bottles before the longest ceremony in history should have been shot, I was not a happy camper... But I got the hell out of there and off to the Olive Garden in post haste so it all worked out.
5 comments:
Cute picture. I liked the part about the Kaufman speech...The whole time I was like, "Doesn't he have an abreviated version in case of rain?? WRAP IT UP!"
Of course, he did not receive my psychic signals, and continued with the whole damn thing. At least it wasn't the same as last year's speech, about particles in the cosmos and atoms and some crazy shit. I can never understand what that man is talking about.
P.S. You need to hang out with me.
Give me a call and we should do something... I'm a little short on funds, but I would love to hang out... So maybe we could do some good 'ole outdoorsy things... Like check out some parks or go to the river...
I was laughing out loud at work reading this!
Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed it... I get a real kick out of this thing, and I love it when everyone else does too... Hey you were there, you should know exactly what I am talking about... The screening process on the public speakers should definately be taken up a notch.
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