Day Three At the CD Shack

Cheryl Strikes Again: So Cheryl has been visiting a few friends over at the Commons lately, which is cool for me, I get a break and a chance to catch up on my housework, namely the clothes and dishes that are scattered all over my house. So she tells me that she wants to go visit her friend James. Why not, sounds good to me... So I put on my chauffeur hat and get in the car... the meter is running and we make it over in record time with traffic. I am not really up for hanging out these days as I am exausted daily with my minimum wage duties, but hey why not. Little background info, the last time Cheryl went to visit James, his psycho, antisocial girlfriend was over and locked Cheryl and her friend out on the porch while they were outside. This did not go over well, as Cheryl can be a very assertive and intimidating individual when provoked. She may seem like a sweet, mild mannered teen that farts, burps, and spits on cue, but if you make her mad the chances are that you will be walking away with a few less teeth. She really doesnt care. Anyways so after the girl locked them out, James was looking at her like, "What the hell are you doing, why would you lock them out?" So the nutcase lets them back in the house and denies ever touching the door. She was like, I just shut it... but it's a flipping deadbolt, it's not like she tripped and fell on the lock... come on.

So Cheryl already has it in for this chick and the chances are that she would probably start something if they were ever within a ten foot radius of eachother... So I am doing my best to keep them on separate ends of town, just to make things easier on me. Disposing of a body this time of year could be a pain and I dont have the time... : ) So we swing by Jame's house and guess who's there... Yes, everyones favorite locksmith... Whats-her-name... So Cheryl, in a wise move, opts to stay in the car while I survey the scene and see what's up. Finally James gives the girl the boot and she wanders off... So Cheryl is playing her guitar on my car and we are having a nice time... Then we decide to go hang out at the appartment and Cheryl leaves her guitar in the car and locks it up so no one will take it... Unbeknownst to me she unknowingly locks my keys in the car in the process. After about ten minutes of hanging out up stairs, I am ready to go since I have to get up early to get to work in the morning... I go for my purse and ask Cheryl for the keys... "You have them"... "No, You had them..." So I go down to the car and Cheryl heads back upstairs to check James house... No point, I can see them... They are in the ignition, staring at me...

So now I have a new mission... Get in the car... I think no problem, I will just get one of the lock boxes off my car, no big deal, only I forgot that Cheryl took them all off the last time she came to visit... No luck. So I call AAA, I don't have my card on me, so I ask the man to look up my account, after 20 minutes of searching and giving the man every possible combination of vowels and consenants that resemble my name the guy gives up... I tried everything, Dave Gardner: No, Corky Gardner: No, Kellyclare Gardner:: No, Kelly Clark: No... I thought that one would work... Finally I was just asking him if there was a name that slightly resembled mine that we could use, but no luck... So I call my Dad and he reminds me that police have slim Jims... So I call them and they blow me off... back to square one...

Meanwhile I have 8 strangers with coathangers working thier way around my car... It's crazy, I mean how many people does it take to get into a tempo??? Come on... People do this for a living... Speaking of which, all the commotion attracted the attention of a young girl who informed me that she use to break into cars for a living... at this point I was not surprised and didnt care anymore... She tried for a while and gave up... She wanted to pop the lock off with a screw driver, but I wasnt having that...
Finally I Realized that I had a spare key to the trunk that had fallen off my keychain earlier... a glimmer of hope that we were kinda in the car... Finally I decided I had enough and just had some guy crawl in my trunk, kick in the back seat and crawl through. Yes boys and girls it is just that easy... try it yourself and if you are lucky, you may be back in your car by 3 AM just like me... Yeah, so after I got done with my victory dance I looked back at my mangled car and inquired if he could put what was left of the seat back in order... So this kid proceeded to punch my car as hard as he could, and wa- la noone could tell it ever happened... So after recollecting Cheryl, who had been AWAL throughout the entire experience, aside from calling me from appartments telling me about parties, as if that were an option... I dont know...

So We got home at about three... I crashed into bed on the couch, set my alarm, and manufactured the most anemic sandwich ever devised by man, knowing that I would have to be at work in 4 hours and ready to work on machines that not only require cordination and focus, but also bost the reputation of detaching arms and digits with record speed... A great thought to comfort me while I slept. So a few hours later, my alarm goes off, time to got to work, but in my delerious state and no shock to me, I go back to bed only to frantically wake 10 minutes before I am due at work. My immidiate reaction was a chain of phraises that would make a sailor blush as I ran our the door with my sandwhich in hand. I was flying.... I dont know how but I made it it with one minute to spair, the NA members still putting out their third cigarrettes for the morning. I dont know how I did it... But from there I was on my own, trapped in a warehouse, manufacturing Elvis compelation disks by the hundreds... That wasnt too bad, I wasnt going to loose a finger doing that.... then Alice started the name call... The few and the proud that would be working on the "Mangler" and you could have guessed already that I was one of the lucky who got called... Ahhhhh... So I ended up working on the end of the machine that shrink wraps the cd's, how bad could it be? No, I have never been so scared in my life... that thing sucks in a case a second and I had to feed it... keep in mind that if you dont keep up with it, it will snap Walter Cronkite in half and then I have to fix it... not good... this was turning out not to be the Lavern and Sherly factory that I had dreamed of. After 3 hours of that I realized I was going nearsighted and half blind from staring at the same Christmas album for three hours straight... Good times...

Luckily one of my coworkers bought me a cheeseburger to help me regain my sanity... four hours after that, I was free... to go home and sleep for the next 10 hours, until I would have to get up and do it all over again... So in short, Cheryl's key privilidges have definately been revoked... and I will be renewing my AAA as soon as I get my next check... Good Times.