Pondering over the day's events I wonder why the hell I am standing in a 97 degree warehouse for nine hours straight. When being offered this job I cannot honestly say that my employers were completely up front. If when offered the position they mentioned that I would be working for a catfish on a forklift, ariving by 6 AM daily, give rides to derelects on my 30 minute lunchbreak, have said derelect accuse me of conspiing against her, or that I would look forward to driving home at 3;30, after a 9 hour shift in a 100 degree car, left to bake in the sun, in traffic, I would have told them to take a hike.
I look down on my Fun Time Fuzzy posters, and reflect that there is nothing fun about them... I only wish that the children who enjoyed these creations had the slightest comprehension of all the pain and frustration that went into each one. The screams as I slam my elbow down on my razor sharp tape dispencer for the third time in one session, or the chain smokers sitting on thier breaks lighting thier third cigarette on a 15 min. break, or if they could hear the workers coughing on the aspestos like fuzz... Maybe they to would see the irony in the product's name...
This is my hell... People go to work doing terribly mundane and tedeous things, but at the end of the day they can look back with relief that at least they dont work at a fuzzy factory. I know Cassandra does, she tells me that whenever her work gets unbarable she thinks of my in my two by two foot space, towering posters over my head, hoping that one will crush me and end the fuzzy hell...
Does your job suck?
Answer Yes or No to the Following Questions:
1. Do you have to be at work by 6 AM?
2. Do you work in a building with no air conditioning or circulation on 97 degree days?
3. Do you get paid $7.25 (before taxes)?
4. Do the men at your workplace refuse to shower and obsess over dungeons and dragons?
5. Do random drug addicts ask you for a ride home?
6. Are you almost positive that half the staff could not pass a drug test?
7. Do the employees display thier NA chips with pride?
8. Do strangers think you are plotting against them?
9. Do you have to clean the bathrooms?
10. Is the highlight of your day getting free markers?
If you can say yes to all these and you have a masters degree, you might need a new life.
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4 comments:
Okay, that's just terrible. I know there are some openings at the Hilton where I work. I'll pick you up a couple applications & job descriptions.
I suppose if all else fails, you could quit your job and just go to the Fuzzy Hell during their lunch breaks to sell counterfeit NA chips to the employees.
Sounds like fun! It's amazing how some people function at these kind of jobs... the job market is in such shambles that they have maintain a death grip on their minumum wage job and accuse people of conspiring against them. My question would be: what exactly would you have to gain from that? Is her 2' by 2' space a tropical paradise compared to yours? Don't let these people get you down, I've worked my share of crap jobs and have realized that if you just don't let the power-tripping idiots get the better of you and you can just look at it as a short term solution, you will be just fine. You are a bright kid and I think that if you can stick it out it will be pretty rewarding to know that you can hang in there with a job that sucks, and I think it will help you appreciate it when you get a job you love.
What is an NA chip?
Thanks guys, I know I can stick this place out... I have worked here before... It just sucks, but you should ask Sara about the markers I am giving her... it's about 20 lbs. worth...
Today wasnt that bad, except little miss crackhead reapeared at work... she took a day off and I was hopeful that her parole officer had pulled the plug and taken her away... but no luck, she was dirrectly across from me and kept staring and smiling at me.... I wanted to stop everything and be like, "Can I help you? Did you loose something over here? What the hell are you looking at?"
I get way strung out doing all the fuzzy work... I think it is a bad idea to cram me into a 2 by 2 cell left alone to my thoughts for nine hours straight... I usually have daymares about the crackhead coming after me with a box cutter... (probably over my lush, tropical cubicle...I cant lie, it is so much sweeter than everyone elses... there's a hammock, a cabanna boy, and a pool)
anyways, all that time to contemplate leaves me totally stressed out and the last time the box lady came by, she bumped into me and I ended up screaming at the top of my lungs... not a good sign... everyone droped what they were doing to laugh and stare at the crazy girl... good times...
And Chris, NA stands for Narcotics Anonymous, like AA for people who live in springfeild. At any rate, the longer you are a member and "claim" to be clean you get chips to display with pride anywhere you deem fit. I saw a truck in "Seringe-feild" with like 20 of them all over the back windows... I think it is awsome that the man got help for his problem, but I think NA chips are a giant red flag to any police officer that you are not a real honest person and are a bust waiting to happen... and besides, just cause you arent carrying anything, doesnt mean your reject friends aren't... I think they would stop him in a heartbeat...
So again, I will just stick it out, but in the meantime take pride in the fact you dont work in a fuzzy factory....
and Evan, what are the hours like? I get about 50 hours a week at the sweat shop, but would be up for something a little more friendly... I was a maid once... that was another job from hell, but that was only because I was the hostess, maid, poolman, laudress, locksmith, matenance man, and negotiator with the police who came by daily...
We locked people in their rooms, launched matresses off the second story, sprayed water on the guest's windows at 7 Am to get them out early... and so on...
Just ask some time, I worked for a 82 year old woman that owned half the town of Bandon and refused to die gracefully... She fell asleep while driving her car (cause she is such a slave driver she never sleeps) and I was too scared that she was dead to wake her up...
In summary, I am sure the Hilton is a much better working environment and that if I can survive the Gorman Motel and the Ocean View I can do anything....
But in the meantime, if you want any markers give me a call... And tell me how many pounds you want...
Laters
I think I answered no to all of the questions, so I guess my job doesn't suck. DEFINATELY get Evan's info...working at the Hilton would be great. There are other jobs out there, and I don't see why you need to work 50 hours a week.
So sorry about not picking up the markers last night...I was almost home before I remembered. I'll call you later.
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