When Rats Attack

The other day I was surprised to look down at my phone, the one that never rings, and see my sister calling me, at the crack of dawn.
This in itself was a wonder, as my dear sister is not known to grace anyone with her presence until well into the afternoon.

I have learned this lesson well, after calling her at around 11:00 A.M. and listened to her push the phone around on the floor after answering it, in an attempt to find it in the dark, followed by my favorite sound, the one where people attempt to say hello and the sounds tremble out and inform you immediately that the person on the other end of the line wishes terrible things to befall you...

But back to the main idea... My sister, in an unprecedented event, called me at around 8 in the morning, meaning it must have been around 5 there... She sounded as though she had been crying and opened with the line, "I had a bad dream"...

She told me that she had a dream that she was being attacked by a rat, and that when she woke up, there had been a rat on her and that it bit her hand. She asked if she needed a shot for rabies or the plague and mentioned that she and the rat hadn't been getting along lately.

She had stirred up it's nest in an attempt to get the rat to leave, and laid out numerous glue traps to help it get the idea... In retaliation, the rat had decided to make Corky's life a living hell... It had established it's new post under Corky's bed (where she keeps her important papers), and taken to eating everything in sight.

It ate her entire case of Top Ramen soup, all of her mayonnaise packets, and as she was continuing on with the list she mentioned that the rat was even bringing saw dust in and putting it all over her floor... This, yes, this in particular struck me as odd, since there wouldn't be any readily available source of saw dust around... Just as I am about to ask a little more about the newest find, Corky yells, "He's eating my table!" Sawdust mystery solved...

From there she told me that recently she had been having some bad luck...

She had gotten up early the day before and in her usual fashion had began her day with an upbeat chant to help her on her way, "Shower time for Corky, time to take a shower..."

Only to find as she was about to step into the tub, that there was a giant scorpion in her bathtub again... "Scorpion! Ah...."
So off she runs to fetch the industrial strength Raid that is never in short supply. It takes some time to take effect, and one can never be too careful, so after spraying her new friend, she went for a short walk to pass the time... Upon her return she finds the scorpion has been dealt with and proceeds with her plans...
As Corky is taking her shower, trying to get back on the bright side, she notices that the water in her tub isn't going down like it usually does... She thinks the tub is just being silly, and proceeds with her shower, taking time to stomp in the newly formed puddles...
Only to immerge and find that the tub is not the only thing acting silly... The silly toilet is also acting strangely, spewing water and sewage all over her floor...

So Corky screams, throws on her clothes, and heads out the door to find all of her neighbors standing on their porches as well. Soon the Roto-Rooter truck arrives to take care of the issue, while her manager takes a moment to not so discretely inform Corky that you cannot flush paper towels down the toilet...
Ten angry neighbors all stare at poor Corky...

Moving on, attacked by giant rat, check; scorpion dead, check; flood averted, kinda, next up Corky's clan of friendly spiders decide to avenge their fallen comrade in what was surely just a misunderstanding with a book.

The bright side is, Corky just got a new apartment, and it clearly states, no pets.