Quite The Eventful Day

So today, I wake up early... Watch what disgracefully passes for animated entertainment these days, pop in a movie, and begin my day. Starving for human contact and company I head over to Autumn's house at 10 AM, it is completely silent as everyone was still sleeping in compensation for the previous evening's activities. I begin cleaning and wandering about, waiting for signs of life from the basement to become apparent... Finally they stir and wander up stairs. After a spectacular breakfast I acquire Autumn and head toward Deetering farm.
We drive out Coburg and make our way... Suddenly we come to a halt as the town slows to a crawl. Apparently we had come in the middle of the small towns only festivities... As a natural leader, I don't accept defeat or traffic willingly. So I chose to blaze my own trail and find an alternative route. Soon I am leading the way down winding streets and alleys with 4 cars trailing behind. I navigate my way back to the main road and join the procession. It doesn't take long to realize I am now part of the parade. With children on a flat bed truck hurling tootsie rolls at the onlookers from in front of me, and a tractor covered in American Flags following behind. So Autumn and I take this opportunity to practice our Miss America Waving skills and blend in as best we can. So at each turn when the parade slowed down, Autumn would jump out of our moving car and pick up the candy that was thrown from the float in front of us... We would then spit the loot and redistribute it to our own waiting onlookers... This went on for some time before we were finally free of our ordeal.
So we arrive at the farm, spend hours picking blueberries at a mere $1.10 per pound. Quite the steal these days... After loading up on raspberries and blue berries we made our way home, stopping by the McKenzie River to skip stones in the water.
After depositing our berries at the house and enjoying a smoothie so chalked with seeds that I resorted to sputtering them across the floor...
Next we made our way to our local pawn shop to make our latest additions to my already obscenely large movie collection.
Back to the house to kill some time and then off to Pink Martini, in what was one of the best shows I have ever seen. Sitting in the arena, eating my Ben and Jerry's ice cream, I was able to whiteness dancers on stilts and in flamingo dresses accompanying one of the most out ragious marching bands I have ever seen. After that came the real show... Pink Martini got up and sang every song I had ever heard them play, plus three from their new album. The event went on for hours. At the end, I did my usual maneuvering and took off like a bat out of hell to be the first one out of the parking lot, narrowly avoiding 600 mini vans all trying to get out of the parking lot and head home...
But wait there's more... After finally arriving at home I lay down to relax only to hear a woman screaming for her life in the parking lot behind my home. My friend ran outside with a 4 Ft. sword and called the cops. Apparently the woman had ran down a cyclist and tried to flee the scene of the accident. So after being detained she was still screaming that it was her boyfriend that she had mowed down and that it was ok. So the cops and ambulance showed up and took care of it all. Lots of screaming and running made for an interesting end to an overwhelming day...

Good night Folks, I'm out.