A Simple Plan

So Cheryl and I, after watching one too many scary movies... Decide to hop in the squish-mobile and get some coffee... So running on "e" as usual, we mob down the street in everyone's favorite coffin on wheels to the distant Dutch Brothers on Franklin.
Finally arriving at our destination, we are greeted by our favorite barista worker, Jordan. I calmly kill the engine, explaining that poor squishy has a bad ticker and is prone to heart failure when idling. So there we are at 7:30pm, catching up with Jordan and calmly enjoying our new drinks. I notice the line is piling up in my mirrors and decide we should head on back to the ranch and let the man get back to work... I apologize to the car behind for the delay, say goodbye and start up the Tempo... Joking that it probably won't start and that we will be staying for a while...
Ha Ha, 5 minutes later and not a spark to be had I realize the joke is on me and that the car is totally dead. As usual.
So Jordan abandons his post and starts pushing the car through the lot to give us a jump. Great, so here we are in the freezing cold, the car wont start, we're out of gas, and guess what? The door decided to go off track and kept bouncing against the frame each time I attempted to slam it shut. So Jordan says the car would be safe overnight, if need be, as I glance in the back seat at all of my valuable crap and thinking of the newly disfunctional door, flapping in the night.
So to cover all my bases, I treck over to the gas station, explain my situation, and seeing as I am a stone's throw away from the station, the gas guy waves my gas can fee... Whooo who... We joke about how bad our cars are (his assembled in part with duct tape and super glue) we commiserated together on the good old days when cars had heaters and tires that wouldn't fall off and roll farther than the vehicle as a whole.
So good times...
So back I go with my gas in hand, mission under way... So I get there and not only will the door not shut, but the lever for the tank just went AWAL, so here I am tank of gas in hand, pleading with the car to cooperate... Plan B: I bust into the trunk (boldly going where many have gone before, seeing as there isn't much left of the trunk after some stranger had to kick in the back seat to get the keys out of the ignition) anyways... That worked better than expected...
So the car is busy chugging it's new gas, and Cheryl has her hands impatiently on the keys ready to try the jump, which would have probably blown up the car along with the rest of our crew... So here I am holding the gas can, screaming at Cheryl not to turn the ignition over...
three Jumps and still no car, but we don't give up easy, and as soon as I had called for a ride, it started right up... Of course...
So then we had a wonderful stranger disconnect the car... And Wall-la we were back on the road...
In hind sight, this may seem a little much for a cup of coffee, but that's the way it goes...
Still rolling...
Good times